Ensoul Arts

Happy Lunar New Year

Finally, I'm finishing a painting that had been put away for too long. I wasn't always sure I'd finish it. Definitely, I will. Almost there. The sun came out today, which shifted the energy here dramatically. Following a long walk in the sun, and dinner with friends, I am home cleaning up my studio and office spaces while thinking my life forward. I'm taking a lot of deep breaths today. The office and studio have been been unpacked since September, but the last of spaces in the cottage to be organized with intention. It feels good to be working on this today, and I hope to share this corner of my home soon. 

 

Merry Everything!

little city :: bigger city ::  holidaying all around

 

This Guest House

The weight of the long winter was just beginning to lift off of our shoulders when the news of the quakes and Tsunami in Japan interrupted the groove toward spring. Deep sadness washed over me with every headline. As I was doing all I could to maintain positive thoughts for humanity, incredibly sad news also arrived in my family. My mother's cancer is no longer stable. For three years, she's been winning a struggle with lung cancer. It was discovered recently that the cancer has spread widely. From a medical standpoint, there isn't much more that can be done...

Naturally, the boys and I have been spending a lot of time with her. We are so grateful for the time we have, perhaps even more time than we think we have, to laugh and love. Her light of hope is bright and inspiring. Her will to live is strong. She will be mostly home now, surrounded by the love and support of family and friends. We lost my father to cancer five years ago, and though I cannot say I am prepared for what lies ahead with my mom, I do have a sense of how this will go. 

Moving into this new season certainly isn't as care free and light hearted as it might have been, and I'm met each day with an awareness of my choices. How will I choose to perceive devastating changes both globally and personally? How will I move through the painful process of letting go? How I respond to what life brings is up to me. I have been thinking of A Year of Choice over at Bluebirdbaby and feeling really grateful for this web of interconnection we all have at our fingertips. In my beginnings as a blogger, I have discovered that this online life is what we make of it. It can be virtual reality or we can co-create a virtue-full reality. Connection is everything. Dear Erin, Thank you for the inspiration to keep remembering this--our ability to choose.

I welcome all that will come. As Rumi tells us, "This being human is a guest house." 

Story + Art = Healing

Just a couple weeks before the recent tragedies, I put this book on reserve through our library website. I had forgotten, as I'm always adding to my not-so-little bibliophile pile. When I eventually stood at the hold shelf to pick up my weekly stack, I glanced at the cover of this one and lingered long. I was immediately struck by the awareness of how quickly life can change. I wanted to turn back time to the moment I was sitting at my laptop on the library website weeks before, back when all was well and fine with Japan. While the boys and I lived in Seattle, we met many new friends with Japanese roots. Japanese language classes at school were favored, and both boys became increasingly interested in visiting Japan someday. It has come up frequently in our family conversation the past couple of years, usually beginning with, "When we go to Japan, let's..."  Yes. Let's. Now, more than ever, I look forward to our "someday" trip to Japan. For now, these drawings and stories bring smiles and allow us to feel closer in a way that un-numbs the reality that is there now.

 

So here we are in uncertain and changing times thinking of a lucky rabbit in the moon and inhaling peach blossoms. I am choosing to keep dreaming of more connection between people and countries, of greater love, and of new beginnings. 

 

Rumi - Guest House

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

 

New Beginnings

While sifting through my photos for the best moments of 2010, I was reminded of the day this photo was taken. Happily walking the lake in the sunshine with tunes, while the boys wheeled around on rollerblades, I discovered something extraordinary. A local mom had the idea of creating this community art piece. Many brightly colored papers were tied to the outreaching branches of a "wishing tree" and couldn't be missed! Anyone passing by could leave a wish and be on their way. I was very moved as I read the many sweet and humorous wishes twirling in the breeze. As I picked up the pen myself, a local news photographer snuck up to take this photo of me. Hm. Smiling and wishing upon community art and trees? So very me. Of all the things one can be in the news for, I gladly accepted my little moment of fame. 

No new resolutions surfaced for me at the turn of this new decade. Plans for our future have been unfolding all throughout 2010, and the year simply ended in clarity. I know, as much as one can know, where my family and I are headed. Last year was a time to revisit ghosts of the past for a sort of "grand finale". The final chapter closed on a decade long series, and I am so very relieved. Grateful for what was learned and lived, too. Oh, yes. A few good seeds were planted in the good earth during 2010. What happens now? I cherish every moment with my dear ones, and wait to see what comes up in the spring.

Between now and then, I'm a mom with an iphone camera, with the hope of changing and growing this blog space in the new direction it wants to go. It's been very good company at times though I've only shared this "secret" with a small handful of closer friends and colleagues. I do hope to be a lot less shy about this space in 2011! Many thanks to those few of you who have been visiting me here to see what's new. A very special thank you to Erin for helping me get this thing started!

Bring it, 2011!

Oh, and speaking of wishing... Tuesday, January 4, at 4:04 am EST, is the January New Moon combining a solar eclipse. Sounds like a potent window of opportunity for wishing if you ask me, but I am that kind of girl. So, I say go for it again tomorrow. Wish, wish, wish!

Happy New Year!

 

New Beginnings

 

 

That Aries New Moon never ceases to amaze me. I'm feeling grateful today for what's already new in our world:

:: Good news! I hope to share more about it soon (can't count the chickens just yet).

:: Mastery. Both boys are tackling some tasks that were struggles just a week ago.  

:: Creative Visioning. My ritual Aries intention collage has sparked my creativity again.

:: Bikes! We love our new bikes. Indigo had his very first ride around the big lake on his own two wheels.

:: Green. Budding leaves, popping dandelions, and beautiful blossoms are everywhere suddenly.

What's new for you?

lightening up

It's five after midnight. Welcome Monday and the start of a new week! Attempting to balance my life this past week was quite a task. I'm thankful for the OM at the end of my yoga mat, for knowing that peace begins with me, for setting healthy boundaries, for wherever the light keeps coming from, for the patience of Finn and Indigo when mama is tired, for friends who call to remind me that they love me (thank you thank you), and for the music that feeds my soul. 

I finally had a little time to myself today to gather up the threads and look ahead. I tackled a daunting project I've been putting off for far too long. Do you have a little stash corner in your house that haunts you? A box, bin, bag, or barrel? An ultra fat three ring binder? A little demon pile? This was mine. I sat on the floor with my sleeves all the way up--shredding, filing, stamping, and sorting the beast (pardon while I dust my hands off and light some sage) all afternoon. Did I mention it was beautiful and summer-like outside today? Sigh. I took a few quick breaks to feel the warmth of the day, but held to task. It's important to me that I get rid of excess or do my best to resolve unfinished business before the Aries New Moon, a time for new beginnings. It's almost here (April 14). Whatever your rhythm, now is as good a time as any to chuck that baggage and get on with it. It's not always as easy as it sounds, I know. Letting go usually has a grief process to go along with it. This Patty Griffin song was a good vent for some rather unsavory feelings that visited as I sat in the heap. I found it best to play it quite loud. On repeat. I think I may have channeled Patty right on into my loft haven as a couple of dark birds flew out the window. 

I had been in a quieter mood listening to the new Natalie Merchant album Pandora previewed earlier in the week, and though the songs were running pleasantly through my space I had little time to really listen for details. I discovered this TED program tonight and it was exactly what I needed to close the week-end. I'm headed to bed now feeling oh so moved by the the poems, the songs, and the entire performance. Everything is lighter now and buzzing. Please enjoy it if you have not already. How great is it to see Natalie Merchant back at it? I've been feeling a bit ancient lately. Look at Natalie go. She is as fresh, gorgeous, intelligent, purposeful, and talented as the day is long. I'm inspired...again! To think I was barely out of middle school when I met the music of 10,000 Maniacs and fell into bliss with it. 

I'll leave you with this poem by Laurence Alma-Tadema that Natalie has brought to life again in music. It's as good as this song by Eva Cassidy, but I digress...

If no one ever marries me--

    And I don't see why they should,

For nurse says I am not pretty

    And I'm seldom very good--

If no one ever marries me--

    I shan't mind very much;

I shall buy a squirrel in a cage,

    And a little rabbit hutch;

I shall have a cottage near a wood,

    And a pony all my own,

And a little lamb, quite clean and tame,

    That I can take to town;

And when I'm getting really old,

    At twenty-eight or nine--

I shall buy a little orphan girl

    And bring her up as mine.

(written in 1897)