Ensoul Arts

space between

Hello from the space between two suburbs in the Twin Cities Metro, where circumstances and love have created an extended stay. I'm continuing to learn how "Living Into Questions", as the poet Rilke advised me to do, meanders in unpredictable ways.

This quiet and strange December, I experience an inward bloom. The radical acceptance I surrendered to in September infused my life with a love, I believe, that only comes once... I begin to "see the forrest" through the highways leading to the suburban art schools my boys attend (note: time in the car with teenage boys can be e a holy grail of communication opportunities). I strive to choose joy moment to moment, not just as an idea for tomorrow (but that too...). 

Though there is a harshness to this time of year and this particular time in my life, I appreciate how the holiday season so far shines and sparkles where it matters most.

 

TIRED OF SPEAKING SWEETLY

 

Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
Break all our teacup talk of God.

 

If you had the courage and
Could give the Beloved His choice, some nights,
He would just drag you around the room
By your hair,
Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
That bring you no joy.

 

Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
And wants to rip to shreds
All your erroneous notions of truth

 

That make you fight within yourself, dear one,
And with others,

 

Causing the world to weep
On too many fine days.

 

God wants to manhandle us,
Lock us inside of a tiny room with Himself
And practice His dropkick.

 

The Beloved sometimes wants
To do us a great favor:

 

Hold us upside down
And shake all the nonsense out.

 

But when we hear
He is in such a “playful drunken mood”
Most everyone I know
Quickly packs their bags and hightails it
Out of town.

 

 

(The Gift – versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

 

 

fall song

Another year gone, leaving everywhere
its rich spiced residues: vines, leaves,

the uneaten fruits crumbling damply
in the shadows, unmattering back

from the particular island
of this summer, this NOW, that now is nowhere

except underfoot, moldering
in that black subterranean castle

of unobservable mysteries - roots and sealed seeds
and the wanderings of water. This

I try to remember when time's measure
painfully chafes, for instance when autumn

flares out at the last, boisterous and like us longing
to stay - how everything lives, shifting

from one bright vision to another, forever
in these momentary pastures.

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

September :: Living into the Questions

We are taking a long vacation from island life in the Pacific Northwest to visit our home on the Minneapolis prairie. If it's true that life is a journey and not a destination, all is well. I'm remembering how the Chinese term for crisis (wei ji) contains elements of both danger and opportunity, and I'm grateful for the guidance at the fork in the road.

 

"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors."

~African proverb

 

"Barn's burnt down -- now I can see the moon."

 ~ Mizuta Masahide

 17th century Japanese poet and samurai

 

"...I would like to beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the anwer." 

~Rainer Maria Rilke

1903

in Letters to a Young Poet

 

 

 

 

August

 

July at home

 

The weather junkies predict sunshine and warmth for the next ten days. Those wool socks I wore all of June (June-uary in the Pacific Northwest) were ready to come off and stay off until it becomes (officially) a new season. Can I have an Amen (and, as Clarissa Pinkola Estes says: a little woman)? Ah! Life at home on the island is a little patch of heaven right now. Community is a blessing. Many hands make light work, and the garden here is beyond abundant. I do think my boys and I just experienced the most enjoyable July 4 we have ever had together, with a fiery full moon rising over Puget Sound to punctuate the experience. We have steady days here for a couple more weeks until travel plans catapult us here and there. Simplicity is Queen for now... 

Happy July!

summer gratitude

Summer. At last. I am so grateful for...

:: our lush island surroudings and the creatures of the season (oh, the hummingbirds!)

:: the beaming faces of my sons (& another birthday for Indigo.. 11!)

:: extended family I enjoy getting to know more and more (thanks again Cecie)

:: excitement as I look forward to seeing some dear friends in Mpls. very soon

:: my body's incredible ability to remember, to heal, and to transform

:: the opportunities that arrive at the crisis point 

:: Nia

:: Sisterhood

parkour in the poppies

I can't believe ten days of June have blown by already. Whoa. Solstice and the 4th of July are right around the corner, and the school year is still in swing for both boys. Life is filled to the brim with milestones, celebrations, festivals, and transitions galore.

Finn recently graduated from a year long Coming of Age program, and is now stepping into the final week of his 9th grade career. I'm incredibly proud of him for keeping the faith, persevering, earning academic honors, and somehow retaining the ability to remain creative with what free time he has. Just a few days of school remain for Indigo, who I do believe has experienced the most successful and enjoyable school year to date. He cares for every single student in his class, which became evident to me as I enjoyed watching him bring class projects to completion. He delivered the strongest performance I've ever witnessed him carry out in his recent class play. Tomorrow he steps into the bittersweet closing days of a beautiful school year. These are good times indeed, but I think we're all ready to relax into the break. Almost there. I hope you're finding the time to really breathe in the endings and beginnings during such a busy time!

See you at the beach...

May Goes On...

A festive celebration, rain or shine, graced our island Waldorf school this afternoon. Though I enjoyed all of it with my littlest, I was a bit tempted to miss the old days, way back when my big kid was...little (really not so long ago). I wondered if he would be disappointed that he was missing out on all the fun...until I discovered him walking home from big kid school looking like this! Clearly, he has his own thing going on (a handmade Japanese hat in celebration of Children's Day in Japan)... Good times all around!

Happy May!

fresh & live

Last Friday marked the 30th day of my seasonal cleanse, which evolved very naturally into all raw vegan foods and herbal infusions of nettle and dandelion root. I feel so much better that I plan to keep going with at least 85% raw vegan foods throughout the summer. Cheers to the season of fresh veggies aplenty!

dandy mandala

Happy Earth Day!